My journey through Physio Part 2

I have been blessed these past years. I have had the most incredible physiotherapists and that is how I know God has never abandoned me in my plight. All my wonderful physiotherapist from Taryn, Luke to Chrisie, and last but not least Adam in my various stints at rehab units - I mention them all by out of the sheer respect and gratitude I feel towards all of them, every single one has treated me with such kindness and genuineness.

Using a mechanical standing aid June 2019

In the Raphael rehab centre, I came of the full body hoist, it was a real milestone in my recovery. I still use a mechanical standing aid - it's far more dignified and not such a big shenanigan if you need to use the toilet. It requires me to use my leg muscles for a good stand.

Muscles are like a jigsaw puzzle, so if you have a few pieces missing, you can’t complete the puzzle. So every physiotherapist has worked to fix this complicated puzzle. They have all contributed to completing the middle of the puzzle. And my current physio Steve is working on the corners and sides of the puzzle. To be honest, I honestly don’t know if we will be able to complete the puzzle and if we do it won’t be neat which is fine. The end goal is irrelevant for now I just want to try my best and enjoy making the puzzle. I am determined to plug on whatever the end. I honestly have no idea how much I can recover. At the beginning of my journey, I wanted to fully recover, but now I work my hardest and I just put my faith in God. I do sometimes ponder. In terms of my spiritual life I feel far richer in heart than before, when you’re so weak you realise how dependent on God we are. I am very dependent on my carers and husband, so how can I say I depend on God? As for my carers, I have two lovely ladies and they are like family now. I have no doubt God put love and compassion in their hearts towards me and my family. As for my recovery, God will recover me as best as he wishes.

As soon as I and my husband met Steve we both believed he was a gift from God. Steve is very knowledgable in his line of work. He pushes me to my limits, but he knows I love to be pushed. The beauty of physio is watching your muscles regain life again and reconnect with your brain, and the magical moment your brain clicks and knows what to do.

We spent the last six weeks working on standing up until Steve said an important piece of my puzzle is missing, being my abs. Abs are critical for everything, from standing up, turning yourself in bed at night to find a comfortable position, to getting out of bed in the night. Who would have known it is our abs that gives us the ability to find that comfortable position. It’s our abs that allow us to sit on a chair. My abs are weak, so we are working on that for the next four weeks. Believe me, it’s very painful work. For a disabled woman, ten crunches are like doing 100 crunches for a fit human. I always love the pain you acquire from exercise. 

So where am I today? I am currently working to come off the mechanical standing aid. This will be a life-changing moment because currently, I can’t go outside for too long. I have to ensure I am very well hydrated through out the day, which means I need the toilet at regular intervals. I am susceptible to urine infections which in turn makes me more prone to seizures. So I have no choice but to drink a lot of water. As I cannot go out for too long, I can't go on days out with my family. Up until now, we have all lived parallel summers. So I need to achieve the ability to stand on this new device known as a rota stand. No over-exaggeration when I say it will be life-changing. It can be folded and taken with you in the car.

One year on, you can see the progress I have made in August 2020. This is to prepare me to come off a mechanically assisted standing device.

In my mind, I want to use my rota stand, as well as my mechanical standing device but I hope and pray by the end of the year to be fully capable of coming off the mechanical standing aid. This will mean every time I stand up I will be using my muscle power, the best physio is that which is incorporated into your daily life.

I am currently working very hard to revive my left arm, which is still struggling to reconnect with my brain, the muscle structures in our arm are far more complicated than the ones in our legs hence my leg came first. And now with the help of a wonderful occupational therapist called Sue we are trying to revive it. It reminds me of the famous question of what came first the chicken or egg? I have begun this journey to reconnect my brain with my arm. From a position when I thought it was dead, It's looking good so far - nonetheless, my arm has a tough journey before it.

The moment my left arm was revived after being dead for more than two years May 16th 2020

In Islam, we believe God has 99 beautiful names. One of these names is 'al Ba-ith', the reviver. You should know me by now, I am giving it my all when I call upon my lord using His beautiful name al Ba-ith. The reason I am desperate for my left hand to work is that I have a vision in my mind that God willing, by the end of next year I pray and hope to be using a Zimmer frame. It’s a very lofty goal but a thousand-mile journey begins with the first step.

If I take a step back and look at my goal, I laugh. I am in my early forties and I am dreaming of using a Zimmer frame! The day I walk myself to the toilet, I will honestly cry my heart out.

One experience I will not forget is walking in an exo-skeleton machine. I was emotionally overwhelmed to be on my feet again and I looked very robotic - a bit like Robocop, if you’re as old as me you will know Robocop.

Next week I will talk about depression and maintaining a positive mindset, I don’t want people to think I am angelic, far from it. Every day I am internally fighting with my mind.

Have a great week everyone and sorry for the delay in the blog - it’s busy my end.