Coming out my comma

I don’t remember being in a comma, for me that was the easy part. I was sleeping for four months, no care in the world or worries. But for my family it was a really hard stage, they had no idea what would be my state when I woke up if I ever did awaken. I could have woken up in a vegetative state, which is common with brain injury. Most of you would be familiar with Michael Shumaker, who in 2013 suffered a TBI, from a fall whilst skiing in the Alpines.We don’t know much as to how he is today, but a neurologist said he's not the man we once knew. I do recall two incidents from my comma which I have verified with the people involved to ensure I was not dreaming. The first incident was my mummy had been cutting my nails and she accidentally cut my skin, I remember feeling the pain. The second incident I remember was my sister in law arguing with a nurse, my sister in law wanted to cut my hair; I was a ridiculous sight, skin headed on the side that had to be shaved for my operation and my hair on the other side. The nurse would not allow her to cut my hair. For some bizarre reason I recall that event, but nothing else. All the endless visitors who came that were reading me the Quran, our holy book. I don’t recall anything. However, to everybody that came, I truly thank you all so much from my heart, may God be a witness to your deeds. Sadly for my dear husband who spent every day by my bedside talking to me about my life and sharing our marital memories, I recall nothing, But God one of His beautiful names is Ash -Shaheed, The one who witnesses, so his rambling will not be in vain, they were witnessed, just not by me.

The Hollywood image we are always shown is of a person who suddenly wakes up from their comma. Sorry to disappoint you it doesn’t work like that, that is a complete misrepresentation. Even once I emerged out of my comma in March 2018, it was a very gradual awakening. Though I was beginning to come out my comma in March, I would spend the next four months in a daze.

The first time I was sat upright on a chair at St George's, just as I was beginning to come out of a coma - I was in a state of utter confusion.

I was out my daze by June 2018. In April 2018 l moved to the Royal hospital for Nero disability (RHN). What I found strange is that I would always drive past the RHN on the way to my parents' residence, but I never knew what this place was. For me, my journey began here in the RHN. I can just remember endless tears In RHN - not only was I unable to regulate my emotions because of my brain injury but looking back, almost three years on, I can say I was very confused. It was like waking up one day and finding you can’t walk or talk and I was on my own away from my husband and kids. I could not talk but every day my husband would visit and he would explain I had an accident. I did not understand why I could not walk or talk. The gardens there were so beautiful, they had so many roses and I had this strong urge to walk the gardens. Every time my husband would visit, by the time he had to leave, I would be in tears. Not a day went by where he would not leave a distraught crying woman. The careers and nurses looked after me very well. At the RHN, I used to participate in every activity. We even had the Friday prayer congregation at the RHN

I even won third place in the RHN bake-off, to this day I tell my kids the judges felt sorry for me, I was the only patient who entered, the rest were the staff. Even though I could not talk, I got on with everybody. there was a Muslim guy called Abs, he always made sure all my hair was covered, he would call himself my hijab ( head covering) stylist. I must admit I felt loved in RHN when I came home last year, I intended to visit RHNi n spring 2020 to see the staff and my roses, but we had COVID. Enough for this weekend. Keep smiling everyone and thanks for the lovely comments given, they mean a lot.